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Insomnia

by Change Is

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1.
The cards dealt in my head after this They have no value to anyone Cashing in this bad luck for peace I would trade it all away for one night of sleep My mind is blank besides one voice Give up give in leave My shell is breaking What didn’t kill me didn’t make me stronger It only made me wish it had finished the job So I could be no longer Scared of what will come Scared of what I’m capable of This is looking like my resting place My eternal sleep I’m fine with it just make it fucking quick Finish what you started I’ll finish what you started
2.
False Psyche 03:36
They are back After so long they decide to show their ugly faces It’s worse than before They don’t look the same It’s a new cruel game Hey kid We are here for your life I want to run away and change my name Maybe then I’ll find some peace Maybe then I’ll get some sleep Locked in this haze These prison bars won’t go away I’ve fought my demons once and I’ve sent them back to hell Only this time they’re back with something to tell You won’t make it this time You won’t make it through You won’t live to see another day Ever since they left my skin hasn’t felt the same I should have known they were still there Crawling to get back in power I’ll give you a run for your money
3.
Truth is He never really leaves you Subtle signs slip ups that let you know he is still on your trail Hunting you down Making you work for the things that should be natural He fucking knows he is wearing you down He can see it from the lifeless eyes Making you wish he would just end it Dragging every piece of you away So that you are left with something you don’t recognize Everything you stood for is out the window All of your morals have slowly faded away and you are reeling just to get everything back It takes a strong will to obtain what he stole from you It's not over yet
4.
5 Months 03:06
This loneliness is haunting me Crushed under rock with no way out I question my purpose in this one sided war by myself I just don’t care how it ends anymore Just give me fucking peace I can’t mentally stand another day of disappointment from you I can’t believe you did this to me In this one sided war by myself To know what you did and let me think the worst You didn’t deserve a thing Trying to convince myself that I was fine when I was on the floor Trying to convince myself that we were fine when I was banging on your door I wasn’t happy at all but I kept my word I didn’t give up but yet you ran away Faced by my scars Just listening to the passing cars As I begin to realize that I don’t belong in this world I can’t live with the plans we never did And now I can’t even look at the happy times I’m not the blame so don’t even try Why do I want to die No it shouldn’t be like this I would sign anything just to separate myself from the pain I did everything for you So tell me what the fuck did you do
5.
I don’t cope with loss very well and when I lost everything out came my hell I shouldn’t have to look at this world as if I don’t belong I try to find purpose but I know I’m not wrong I’m so tired of watering down my feelings I’m sorry I had to do this I had to let you go I had to let you go You threw me out to sea and let me sink Became a stranger not by choice I had to The best I have is to look at this as learning and try to hold my passion I’ll try to hold it So what do I do now I’m not ready to live like this The loss of the one that gave me my will The one that saved me from my fucking self It’s sickening and I’ve been sick for too long You turned me into the man I am today And no matter how mad I am at you I will always thank you for that There’s a piece of you that I can’t get out I promise I won’t forget you I couldn’t even if I tried Please just appreciate this If you didn’t for anything else I promised I’d stay but I just can’t anymore Absence is the only thing I have left I knew this would happen I tried my best
6.
Insomnia 03:33
Fell asleep with the lights on Only to find them turned off when I woke If I would have known that it would be my last night of rest I would have made it last The only thing I regret is not making the most of those days When I felt rested and ready for this world Now I get up every morning faced by the stranger that I see in the mirror Go on give me a reason to carry on It’s in my head The pain and the dread Optimism has found its way out Pessimism has found its way in I feel my body start to break and bend Blurry mind and faded smile How do I fix what can’t be mend The best I can do is stare at my ceiling Hoping the night takes me away to my dreams All wrong and out of luck I know that ceiling all too well I’m not a normal being Continuous days have me in a death grip It’s coming to an end I don’t have the strength to pick myself up how do I defend
7.
I was unbreakable Now I’m vulnerable Fought back against this world How could I have been so gullible I saw things for what they were A brand new perspective to see through tired eyes I wasn’t lying to myself anymore Isn’t it funny how you see the truth in a blur These images around me aren’t the ones I grew up with All this time my head was filled with a myth What happened to that world I saw as a kid It changed overnight I wish it could have been Seeing so false while living in it Why did it take me to my low to realize this Admitting defeat and folding in my cards I’m ready to turn in
8.
Set the Fire 02:54
We had a family So I don’t understand why everybody left You brought this on yourselves And you all wonder why you’re so unhappy Don’t make me choose I know some call it growing apart I call it never caring at all After so much time spent you just walked away That’s time wasted that I’ll never get back I guess it’s fine go walk away I don’t need people that can just drop someone I don’t need people that could just drop me and not think twice Some of you have changed for the worst And some of you I don’t recognize Take a look at what is left The ashes of something you once loved I tried to save it guess this is what you wanted I’ll stand by and watch it burn if you wish Cause I know it never meant anything If you are willing to set the fire You were willing to set the fire And I’ll watch it light with flame Standing on the other fucking side of that bridge you just burned
9.
Haunted 03:30
10.
'Til June 02:58
I’m sorry for the things that I’ve done I’m sorry for the things that I’ve begun You have one more chance to do right And I’ll take that chance even though I’m not alright I’m trying to be a better man And this is no way to go out I know I’m only passing through But please you have to make it ‘til June I can’t keep wanting an escape I have to keep my word and stay for them You’re not done here yet If you still feel the same when you’re done you can leave You have to stay for them For the ones that need you For the ones that would miss you

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released June 9, 2015

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Change Is Saginaw, Michigan

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